Showing posts with label Ridikulis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ridikulis. Show all posts
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sarah Palin, You Cost How Much?
I never thought I'd come to this, but I have to say it: I'm proud of Sarah Palin. Now, don't worry, that morsel of pride is immediately suffocated by the monsoon of vitriol I hold against her. But where does this pride stem from?
Since the McCain campaign never had any morals to begin with, it comes as no surprise that they were taking voters' money and using it to doll-up Sarah Palin.
And this is the man who is supposed to cut spending and balance the budget? That's like saying, "Spending $100 on lunch is saving since you didn't spend it on dinner". Unless he switches from Neiman-Marcus to Payless, I doubt he doesn't even have a clue how to spell 'budget'.
But, in lieu of all of this chicanery, what makes me really proud is that the McCain spent $75,000 of their people's tax dollars...in Minneapolis! You see, in the good state of Minnesota, there is no sales tax on clothing. So after taking the voters money and spending it on important campaign matters--jackets--the campaign decided they didn't want to bother with having to pay back into the system. Why, that'd cost us even more of the tax payers money! And paying taxes is un-American! So they ran right downtown to Minneapolis, hunkered up a big shopping trolley full of clothes, and carted it back to campaign headquarters. Success!
Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure all of that was illegal. But at least they did it in Minneapolis! For today, Sarah, you're a winner. But on November 4th it won't be what they call you!
Since the McCain campaign never had any morals to begin with, it comes as no surprise that they were taking voters' money and using it to doll-up Sarah Palin.
The Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family since her surprise pick by John McCain in late August.
According to financial disclosure records, the accessorizing began in early September and included bills from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York for a combined $49,425.74.
The records also document a couple of big-time shopping trips to Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, including one $75,062.63 spree in early September. The RNC also spent $4,716.49 on hair and makeup through September after reporting no such costs in August.
The cash expenditures immediately raised questions among campaign finance experts about their legality under the Federal Election Commission's long-standing advisory opinions on using campaign cash to purchase items for personal use.
And this is the man who is supposed to cut spending and balance the budget? That's like saying, "Spending $100 on lunch is saving since you didn't spend it on dinner". Unless he switches from Neiman-Marcus to Payless, I doubt he doesn't even have a clue how to spell 'budget'.
But, in lieu of all of this chicanery, what makes me really proud is that the McCain spent $75,000 of their people's tax dollars...in Minneapolis! You see, in the good state of Minnesota, there is no sales tax on clothing. So after taking the voters money and spending it on important campaign matters--jackets--the campaign decided they didn't want to bother with having to pay back into the system. Why, that'd cost us even more of the tax payers money! And paying taxes is un-American! So they ran right downtown to Minneapolis, hunkered up a big shopping trolley full of clothes, and carted it back to campaign headquarters. Success!
Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure all of that was illegal. But at least they did it in Minneapolis! For today, Sarah, you're a winner. But on November 4th it won't be what they call you!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Bitch, Sans The Red Bow.
If I were to die tonight, I'd die a fully complete man. I just witnessed perhaps the greatest show of my life.
I live on a one way street, and while walking along this narrow road, a crusty old van dashed by and ran a stop sign. The driver who was cut off, a rather large black woman with a red bow in her hair, didn't take well to this. I saw the expression on her face, and then watched in amazement as she proceeded to roll down her window to shout at the perpetrator. "YOU NO-GOOD #@^#%#@$!!! I OUTTA KILL YOU, YOU @*&^%$!!!"
Yeah. Something like that.
Suddenly the guilty driver, also a big black girl (sans the red bow), slammed on her breaks, rolled down her window and began shouting back at her.
That's when it got crazy.
Still sitting in the comfort of their own car, the two girls screamed every slanderous word you could imagine at each other. (I quickly learned that "fuck" can be used as any part of speech.) The two bitches were shouting so many obscenities that even I felt violated.
BUT THAT'S WHEN IT GOT REAL CRAZY.
The bitch sans the red bow who ran the stop sign put her van into reverse and began to spin the Dodge Caravan around IN THE MIDDLE OF A ONE WAY STREET. She was going back and fourth between drive and reverse every 4 seconds so she could pull her van RIGHT UP BESIDE THE BITCH SHE WAS SCREAMING AT. Nope, neither of them were going to get out of their cars. They were just fine verbally mutilating each other while the A/C blew on them and the radio lingered in the background.
I don't think I've ever been more proud to be an American.
I live on a one way street, and while walking along this narrow road, a crusty old van dashed by and ran a stop sign. The driver who was cut off, a rather large black woman with a red bow in her hair, didn't take well to this. I saw the expression on her face, and then watched in amazement as she proceeded to roll down her window to shout at the perpetrator. "YOU NO-GOOD #@^#%#@$!!! I OUTTA KILL YOU, YOU @*&^%$!!!"
Yeah. Something like that.
Suddenly the guilty driver, also a big black girl (sans the red bow), slammed on her breaks, rolled down her window and began shouting back at her.
That's when it got crazy.
Still sitting in the comfort of their own car, the two girls screamed every slanderous word you could imagine at each other. (I quickly learned that "fuck" can be used as any part of speech.) The two bitches were shouting so many obscenities that even I felt violated.
BUT THAT'S WHEN IT GOT REAL CRAZY.
The bitch sans the red bow who ran the stop sign put her van into reverse and began to spin the Dodge Caravan around IN THE MIDDLE OF A ONE WAY STREET. She was going back and fourth between drive and reverse every 4 seconds so she could pull her van RIGHT UP BESIDE THE BITCH SHE WAS SCREAMING AT. Nope, neither of them were going to get out of their cars. They were just fine verbally mutilating each other while the A/C blew on them and the radio lingered in the background.
I don't think I've ever been more proud to be an American.
Paris Hilton Jumps in the Race.
Last week the McCain campaign released an ad insinuating that Barack Obama is just another tabloid celebrity such as Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. (Ironically, the Hilton family has been a major supporter of John McCain, donating the maximum amount legally allowed, almost $7000.)
To respond to the backhanded reference, Paris Hilton has released her own campaign ad:
As pointed out by PZ Meyers, McCain is in serious trouble when Paris Hilton runs intellectual circles around him.
Paris-Rihanna 08'!
To respond to the backhanded reference, Paris Hilton has released her own campaign ad:
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
As pointed out by PZ Meyers, McCain is in serious trouble when Paris Hilton runs intellectual circles around him.
Paris-Rihanna 08'!
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