Repost: "Separate and Equal."

It's finals week and I'm cramming like WHOA, but something made me think of this post from a year-and-a-half ago, and I wanted to re-share it with all of you. Enjoy.

(Originally written on November 6th, 2008 after Proposition 8 passed in California)

This is a contract between Gay America and Christian America.

Since I am gay and thus a second-class American citizen, I have a proposal. After watching the "love of Christ" in California with the hateful, anti-family, anti-American, bigoted, fear-mongering, deceptive and downright evil Proposition 8, I'll give in--fine. You win. I am just fine being a second-class citizen. I will never ask to be viewed as "equal" in the eyes of the states. I will never fight for my right to marry, or to adopt children, or to serve in the military. I will make my life completely separate from yours.

But I want you to stop living off of the fruits of my labor.

Since you value-voting Christians tell me that I am dirty heathen undeserving of the right to a happy marriage and children of my own, I'm going to stop paying for your schools. I'll do the math and figure out how much Franklin County gives to our schools here, and I'll be deducting that from my taxes. Since roughly 30 million Americans are gay, I doubt the schools will notice the few billion dollars they lose.

Now I work in a restaurant, so if you happen to be in my station, let's work something out from here--don't tip me, because you won't be getting service from me. I will not answer questions about the menu. I will not greet your table. You can get your own drinks. The computer system is pretty easy to navigate, so once you're ready to order just walk up and start punching the items in. (Don't make a mistake, though! You'll have to pay for that if you do.) And there are a few soda machines throughout the restaurant, so you should be fine topping off your own Diet Coke.

When your son knocks on my door and asks me to donate for new uniforms for the basketball team, I hope you'll be prepared to watch the door slam in his face. And when your little Girl Scout tries to sell me cookies, imagine her running back to you crying saying, "He said he won't buy cookies because you hate him!"

Oh, you best believe I won't be buying from them.

Also, as part of this contract, you'll never be able to see a Broadway Show again. Sorry. The symphony is out the window, too. You cannot go to The Ballet, you cannot see Cats for your anniversary again, and you will never be able to even play the Wicked CD in your car. Never. Because, I hope you know, these joys that you delight in are the fruit of gay Americans, and since you do not want to believe those kind of dirty people exist, we'll work it out for you. I'll round us all up and put us on an Island.

We'll call in Manhattan.

You cannot read David Sedaris, Anne Rice, Gregory McGuire, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Rice, Truman Capote, Oscar Wilde or Walt Whitman. You cannot listen to Tchaikovsky, N'Sync, Clay Aiken, The Village People, Luther Vandross, Melissa Etheridge, or Jean Baptiste Lully. And I'm sure Cher and Madonna will make it so you can't listen to their music, either.

Also, do you remember the fundamental Keynes Economic Theory? A major foundation of the American economy? You'll have to give that back, too, since he was a big old fag.

You cannot watch Will and Grace, The Simpsons, Ugly Betty, South Park, Sex and the City, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Sordid Lives, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Brothers & Sisters, Six Feet Under, Ellen, Dawson's Creek or The View. In fact, you might as well turn off your television and never watch it again, since the gays pretty much run the media too.

And your children can never read Harry Potter, since Dumbledore is gay too.

When you buy your new big house in the suburbs and you're looking for the best interior designers, your quest is going to be awfully long. When you're sick and the Doctor tells you, "so sorry, not you,", it's going to be a painful extra few hours sitting in the waiting room. And if war ever comes to this country, I hope you know, and that your children know, that I will do nothing to help you. I won't sign up to serve and protect you. I won't even shed a tear.

You win. We will leave you alone. Gay America will disappear. This is what you wanted.

Or is it?

Thoughts on Gay Marriage.

A friend of mine wrote this and I thought I would share.

I am not gay. I have never been gay. I likely never will be gay.

I'm also not married. Never have been, never expect to be. It's not my thing.

The truth is, I find marriage to be an archaic construct set in place long ago by organized religion in order to create fear of sex and sexuality so that said organized religions could then swoop in and say 'but if you have this ceremony, under our auspices,of course, then it's okay for you to have sex; otheriwse it's sinful and you'll burn in Hell'.

MY opinion and I don't demand that anyone agree with me. It's just what I think.

Does this mean I'm anti-marriage? Hell no. I think people should find joy and happiness wherever they can, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone on purpose. If marriage floats someone's boat, then I say go for it.

Does this apply to 'gay' marriage, as well?

Absolutely.

I never have and never will understand any person, religion or political structure trying to administrate what 'kind' of love is acceptable and deserves to be recognized.

Should two men who've been together for years and who have built a loving, stable and permanent relationship have the same right to marry as a straight couple who met during a drunken night in Vegas and headed to a chapel ten minutes after that fateful meeting?

Hell, yes. In fact, a case could be made that straight people should have to prove their willingness to be committed and devoted to each other before they're ever granted a marriage license.

Now, let's consider that for a moment. Marriage License.

A document issued by a representative of a State's Government which declares that Joe Blow Straightguy and Jane Doe Straightgirl are legally entitled to enter into a binding contract which joins their lives forever... or until it gets 'too haaaaard' and they divorce. The only requirement for this license is that the people applying pay the fees, sign the paperwork and be of opposite genders.

There is no stipulation that the people thus applying even know each other, in some places.

And yet, take a gay couple-- male or female-- who have been together through thick and thin for decades. Maybe they even have kids, through whatever means. They CAN NOT marry because it's 'wrong' in the eyes of people who have likely been married more than once and sometimes don't want to take responsibility for the kids they have themselves.

Yes, that is an incredibly broad generalization. I'm aware of that. But it's still true, in some cases.

Now, some people say 'it's an abomination; it says so in the BIBLE! Marriage is between one man and one woman'.

Okay, this is a point. However, having read the Bible, it actually says marriage is between one man and however many women he can support. Homosexuality is an abomination, according to God, they say... but so is eating shrimp. And wearing linen and wool at the same time.

Call me crazy if you must, but linen and wool? A fashion nightmare, possibly, but an abomination? God says YES.

Enjoying a plate of Scampi? Well, clearly any Christian who's done that is going to Hell.

MY point is, if someone is going to fling about Bible passages in order to support their homophobic stance and determination to keep something like marriage 'theirs-theirs-theirs', it might carry a bit more weight to me and people like me if they actually followed ALL the rules set out in God's very own Handbook of Right and Wrong.

These people don't like gay marriage. Well, it isn't for them. It's for gay people, and it's not a threat to the 'sanctity' of straight marriages that rarely last in the first place.

But maybe that's the truth underlying all the overly dramatic outrage. The fear that if gay people are allowed to marry, they just might prove to be better at it than their straight counterparts.

Let's face it. Gay people aren't trying to REPLACE straight marriage with gay marriage. They're not saying 'oh, you cute little straight folks... now you have to marry people of your own gender even though you're not attracted to them'. If they did, the entire country--and maybe the world--would be up in arms and fighting a much more open and honest war than the one going on right now, which is composed of sly digs and proudly displayed ignorance on the parts of many people, both in the private and public sectors.

And yet, that's what we-- the Goverment as well as private and loud citizens-- are saying to gay people. We're basically saying 'well, you can get married, but not to anyone who isn't of the opposite gender, so nyah-nyah-nyah. Now, off with you. Shoo!'.

Gay people aren't telling the rest of us to turn gay. They're merely asking for the same rights as straight people to live and love and be happy while having the same RIGHTS.

This country, the United States, was founded upon the principle of SEPARATION of church and state. This says to me that making legal decisions, on a Federal or State level, based upon religious beliefs, is outside the charter of what this country is supposed to be all about.

Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness. That's in the Declaration of Independence, right?

I don't remember any part of that document that says 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal... unless, of course, they happen to be gay, in which case we can treat them like idiot children or maybe pets, and throw them crumbs from the table but never share the full meal'.

It DOES say that all men are 'endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights'.

It seems-- again, to me-- that if ALL men have certain UNALIENABLE rights and straight people can marry while gay people can't...?

Somebody's rights are definitely being denied.

Well said, Tistoo. :-)

Simply Beautiful.

Protest The H8.

This Saturday, all over the nation, in every major city in America, there will be a protest held against the passing of Proposition 8. This is your chance to stand publicly amongst your community (even if you're not gay! You support us, you're family!). This is your time to tell Ohio that you are not ok with an entire class of Americans standing as separate and still not equal. This is an incredible time to be gay in America.

I encouraged everyone in the Columbus region to come to City Hall on Saturday at 1:30 to protest. The address is 90 West Broad St., Columbus, OH 43215. The permit has been approved and the rally is set to go.

Similar protests will be going on in Cleveland, Cincinnati, Dayton and Youngstown. If you're not in Ohio, click the very first link in this post and find where your city is protesting.

Remember all those ads saying, "Psst! Do Something."? Here's your chance.

Separate And Equal.

This is a contract between Gay America and Christian America.

Since I am gay and thus a second-class American citizen, I have a proposal. After watching the "love of Christ" in California with the hateful, anti-family, anti-American, bigoted, fear-mongering, deceptive and downright evil Proposition 8, I'll give in--fine. You win. I am just fine being a second-class citizen. I will never ask to be viewed as "equal" in the eyes of the states. I will never fight for my right to marry, or to adopt children, or to serve in the military. I will make my life completely separate from yours.

But I want you to stop living off of the fruits of my labor.

Since you value-voting Christians tell me that I am dirty heathen undeserving of the right to a happy marriage and children of my own, I'm going to stop paying for your schools. I'll do the math and figure out how much Franklin County gives to our schools here, and I'll be deducting that from my taxes. Since roughly 30 million Americans are gay, I doubt the schools will notice the few billion dollars they lose.

Now I work in a restaurant, so if you happen to be in my station, let's work something out from here--don't tip me, because you won't be getting service from me. I will not answer questions about the menu. I will not greet your table. You can get your own drinks. The computer system is pretty easy to navigate, so once you're ready to order just walk up and start punching the items in. (Don't make a mistake, though! You'll have to pay for that if you do.) And there are a few soda machines throughout the restaurant, so you should be fine topping off your own Diet Coke.

When your son knocks on my door and asks me to donate for new uniforms for the basketball team, I hope you'll be prepared to watch the door slam in his face. And when your little Girl Scout tries to sell me cookies, imagine her running back to you crying saying, "He said he won't buy cookies because you hate him!"

Oh, you best believe I won't be buying from them.

Also, as part of this contract, you'll never be able to see a Broadway Show again. Sorry. The symphony is out the window, too. You cannot go to The Ballet, you cannot see Cats for your anniversary again, and you will never be able to even play the Wicked CD in your car. Never. Because, I hope you know, these joys that you delight in are the fruit of gay Americans, and since you do not want to believe those kind of dirty people exist, we'll work it out for you. I'll round us all up and put us on an Island.

We'll call in Manhattan.

You cannot read David Sedaris, Anne Rice, Gregory McGuire, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Rice, Truman Capote, Oscar Wilde or Walt Whitman. You cannot listen to Tchaikovsky, N'Sync, Clay Aiken, The Village People, Luther Vandross, Melissa Etheridge, or Jean Baptiste Lully. And I'm sure Cher and Madonna will make it so you can't listen to their music, either.

Also, do you remember the fundamental Keynes Economic Theory? A major foundation of the American economy? You'll have to give that back, too, since he was a big old fag.

You cannot watch Will and Grace, The Simpsons, Ugly Betty, South Park, Sex and the City, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Sordid Lives, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Brothers & Sisters, Six Feet Under, Ellen, Dawson's Creek or The View. In fact, you might as well turn off your television and never watch it again, since the gays pretty much run the media too.

And your children can never read Harry Potter, since Dumbledore is gay too.

When you buy your new big house in the suburbs and you're looking for the best interior designers, your quest is going to be awfully long. When you're sick and the Doctor tells you, "so sorry, not you,", it's going to be a painful extra few hours sitting in the waiting room. And if war ever comes to this country, I hope you know, and that your children know, that I will do nothing to help you. I won't sign up to serve and protect you. I won't even shed a tear.

You win. We will leave you alone. Gay America will disappear. This is what you wanted.

Or is it?

Pride and Prejudice.

Years. I've literally been waiting for this day for years. This is the moment I have dreamed of. I've counted down to it. Waited with alacrity for it. I knew that the culmination of the past 19 months would come down to one day, and it's here at last. I've been confident that once this day hits, real change would finally come to America. Real change has finally made me free.

Oh, I'm not talking about Barack Obama winning the election--I'm talking about the day when I finally stop receiving text messages from him! Gosh, on election day alone I received four phone calls and five text messages! You Obamaphiles are crazy! Don't you have jobs? Families? Lives?

As happy as I am that our country has turned in a new and promising direction, I'm so much more elated to know this campaign is over. Now I won't have to read FiveThirtyEight three times a day. I'll no longer have to dig through the babbling at TalkLeft. No more chewing on the pieces at The Daily Kos. I'll be able to forgo the speculation of Prop 8, the Minnesota Senate Race and all of the swing states in the Presidential Election. And, lordy, I thankfully won't have to ever hear about Sarah Palin again! (Or Elizabeth Dole either!)

Luckily I don't live like some other bloggers. I can imagine Pam Spaulding and Joe.My.God with piles of laundry, heaps of trash and a stack of unopened and unpaid bills. I wonder how many unreturned phone calls they'll have to start dialing. "Yes, Mom, it's me. I know it's been 19 months, but I've been busy. Yes, real busy."

I'm sure they'll enjoy this far more than I will.

But, as just an everyday regular citizen and part-time blogger, I'm happy to know it's official. I can kick back my feet and say, "I love the USA!" We won't have weeks of fighting for a recount nor will we have a news media pointing fingers and screaming "Voter Fraud!". Our nation has elected Barack Obama to lead us, and what a fantastic declaration that is, what a monumental proclamation! From everyday henceforth, no person can ever say they have a limit. When a son of a goat herder can become the President of the greatest country in the world, Democracy can pause to take a deep breathe and say, "We are truly free at last".

But are we? For you, probably. For me, not really. On the same great day when Americans sent a message and said 'no' to racial inequality, they also sent another message--Americans are just fine with gays and lesbians not being equal.

The saddest part of Proposition 8 passing is that the voters made the decision to take away an existing right. The wording was specific--it asked voters if they want to take away gays right to marry, and they said yes. Voters also said yes in Florida. They also said yes in Arkansas, and they also said yes in Arizona. Just as they have said it in Ohio, Minnesota, North Carolina, Illinois, Texas, Idaho, Georgia, Kentucky, Virginia, Alabama, Louisiana, Alaska, Tennessee, North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, South Carolina, Washington, Oregon, Iowa, Missouri...and this list isn't complete.

My step-father served in the military, and yet I will never have this opportunity because I am gay. My mother has been happily married for nearly 20 years now and yet I will never have the same chance because I am gay. In times of crisis I can't even sign up to give blood to help my fellow Americans. This is the great country, the one I want to say I love? This is the land of the free, the country of opportunity?

Sure, Barack Obama's election shows how far country has come, but it also says how far it has yet to go. And after being told yet again, "You're not wanted", I'm just not sure if I can continue to say, "But I want you". I hope the best for America and her battle for change. But, after taking the final blow and yet again hearing that I am not wanted in the country, I'm not positive that I want to stay.

To clarify, of course I will still go to University of Minnesota. But once I graduate, if the country's message has not changed...I will say goodbye to The United States of America. Mark my words. I refuse to live in a country that does not believe in its own citizens. I refuse to be in a country where its population will grossly abuse a right and yet proudly remove it from an entire class of people. And I refuse to pledge my allegiance to a flag that won't even acknowledge my existence.

Barack Obama, congratulations. I am so proud of you. I just wish I was proud of my country.

Norm Coleman Wins Minnesota.

As of about three minutes ago, the Associated Press is reporting that Al Franken did not win the Minnesota Senate Seat. Out of 2.9 Million votes cast, it appears Norm Coleman has won by a few hundred. However, with such a close race, it's inevitable that there will be a recount.

Also, Prop 8 has passed.

Cats Say "No" To Prop 8!

Sordid Lives: The Series.

If you haven't seen this show yet, starting watching. It's hilarious. Also, as a side note, I'd like make to make public my first official marriage proposal to whoever plays the gay character Theodore "Ty" Williamson. (I don't know his name, but that's not important! I can learn details like that after our wedding).

Ty, will you marry me? I'm a great cook and I play piano! I'll make your coffee for you every morning and I'll even wash your clothes. I sure suck at ironing, but for you I could learn! What other important matters are there in marriage? Oh, yeah, my name is Chris! I have curly hair and I've got wit for days! I really never was an eater, so for you I'll always stay thin, which I know is important for a STAR like you in Hollywood. We'll be perfect for each other! (Once we get over the "what's-your-name" dilemma).

I'll let you guys know what he says when he gets back to me. I have high hopes! *giddily crosses fingers*

Teacher's Love The Gays!

Half the country might not think we're humans, but at least teachers love us--and love us a lot they do! They just donated $1 Million to oppose Proposition 8, the measure that would eliminate the current right for homosexuals to marry in California.

For just a day, I would love to have the ability to take a right from the haters. Nothing big. I'm not cruel like that. But, let's say something like right-hand turns. Small and insignificant. Not a human rights issue, such as the right to a family, happiness or liberty, but something ordinary and easily forgotten. I wonder how these millions and millions of people would function without something that is so ingrained into their routine they don't even recognize it's there? Just imagine an entire day where you cannot turn right, at all--not on a bike, not in a car and not even when walking. Everywhere you went, you could only go left. Wouldn't that be problematic? I'd love to see Grand Central in NYC or Michigan Avenue in Chicago. It would be utter chaos.

And that's just one day. Now, imagine what it's like to spend your whole life knowing that you will never be considered 'equal'. Every person you ever meet will judge you. You'll always be looked down upon from your co-workers, family, even your friends. You'll change your voice at work so you don't seem 'different'. People will always make excuses for you because of your sexuality. "He dresses well because he's gay" or "he smells good because he's gay" or "he's flamboyant because he's gay". You'll never be considered just you; instead, you'll always be someone's "gay friend", almost as if you were an accessory. And religious nuts will tell you, almost on a daily basis, that God hates you and will send you to burn forever in hell.

And then imagine having your entire country tell you that you cannot fight for them in the armed forces. Then try to live knowing you can never give blood to help those in need. You cannot adopt the millions of children who do not have a home. You can't even ask the person you love, "will you marry me?"

Voting 'yes' on Proposition 8 only says, "yes, this is ok". It's not a religious issue or a moral issue--it's an issue over decency. Can we not agree that loving couples should be able to own property together, to share health care services and to hold each other's hands as they lay dying? I would never vote to take that right from anyone in this country. Why would you vote for it to be taken away from me?

An Eye-Opener.

Sometimes you out in the blogosphere take the time to sit down and write me an e-mail, which always brightens my day. Whether it's about things you love, things you wanted added, or things you absolutely hate, it usually makes me feel like this whole shindig is worth it. Thank you.

As part of checking my e-mail I always swing by my spam mail, since on a few occasions reader mail has ended up there. It's only been twice, so I usually skim over my junk mail just to make sure a legit e-mail hasn't accidentally ended up there.

Today, as I was checking my spam mail, I received a letter from a reader who thought I'd laugh at one of his spam mails. Titled, "Is Your Wife Boring?", the e-mail contained the following lovely anecdote...

Is wifey boring you? Is she too tired from cooking and cleaning? Or are you just getting plain old fed up with doing all the work and watching her sit around the house claiming she's "not in the mood"? Well--how about you give our girls a try?! We have every girl you could ever want! Our little asian sluts will surely do a better job than your deadbeat wife!

Hmph. Now I know why it was in my spam mail. Oh, and believe me, there was more, but as it is I'm not sure if this entry is really worksafe...

I found the e-mail funny. It seemed like it was written by a housewife whose a little P-O-ed at hubby. But, at the same time, it just made me feel a little sorry. Not for myself--but for this country. We have millions of people working day and night to ensure that loving homosexual couples can't get married, yet the pornography business is raking in more than most small countries. ($14 Billion, by the way). It's destroying marriages, families and even people's lives. If the wingnuts are really trying to save the sanctity of marriage, why don't they start with the marriages that already exist?

The Commies Love the Gays!

This may be shocking, but turns out that America's Socialist enemies have long been champions of gay rights. According to research done by Professor Phelps at The Ohio State University, the communist party was working to decriminalize homosexuality as early as the 1950s!

In his 1952 article, rediscovered by Phelps, "Small" drew on democratic socialism's libertarian traditions, writing, "The freedom of the legally of-age adult of both sexes to have sexual relations with whomever he or she wishes of the same or opposite sex, without fear of sanction, is an important libertarian principle that is part of the law in many socialist and semi-socialist countries today, e.g., in Sweden, Norway, the Netherlands, etc. It means, to the individual 'deviant,' that the fear of legal sanction, as well as illegal repression, blackmail, etc., are forever banished from his mind. It means an area of operational freedom that will enable the emancipated individual to work and think more effectively in his tasks of everyday life. It means the difference between health and sickness for thousands of people who are non-productive members of society today... Whether we individually consider it right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, to have a large or small vocabulary of libidinal expression, repression of such expression, or practice under fear, does not make for a whole, productive individual.

Interesting. Who'd ever imagine Stalin as a champion of human rights?

God Punishes Heathens in California for Homo Marriages.

Come on, God! Just a 5.4 Earthquake? I expected better retribution coming from you! Those heathens in California need to know what you think about their gay marriages. Send them a Katrina for Christ's sake! Seriously God, the only way the lie-berals will know of your goodness is if you go and kill off every one of them! Only then will they see just how loving you are.



God is love!