Repost: "Separate and Equal."

It's finals week and I'm cramming like WHOA, but something made me think of this post from a year-and-a-half ago, and I wanted to re-share it with all of you. Enjoy.

(Originally written on November 6th, 2008 after Proposition 8 passed in California)

This is a contract between Gay America and Christian America.

Since I am gay and thus a second-class American citizen, I have a proposal. After watching the "love of Christ" in California with the hateful, anti-family, anti-American, bigoted, fear-mongering, deceptive and downright evil Proposition 8, I'll give in--fine. You win. I am just fine being a second-class citizen. I will never ask to be viewed as "equal" in the eyes of the states. I will never fight for my right to marry, or to adopt children, or to serve in the military. I will make my life completely separate from yours.

But I want you to stop living off of the fruits of my labor.

Since you value-voting Christians tell me that I am dirty heathen undeserving of the right to a happy marriage and children of my own, I'm going to stop paying for your schools. I'll do the math and figure out how much Franklin County gives to our schools here, and I'll be deducting that from my taxes. Since roughly 30 million Americans are gay, I doubt the schools will notice the few billion dollars they lose.

Now I work in a restaurant, so if you happen to be in my station, let's work something out from here--don't tip me, because you won't be getting service from me. I will not answer questions about the menu. I will not greet your table. You can get your own drinks. The computer system is pretty easy to navigate, so once you're ready to order just walk up and start punching the items in. (Don't make a mistake, though! You'll have to pay for that if you do.) And there are a few soda machines throughout the restaurant, so you should be fine topping off your own Diet Coke.

When your son knocks on my door and asks me to donate for new uniforms for the basketball team, I hope you'll be prepared to watch the door slam in his face. And when your little Girl Scout tries to sell me cookies, imagine her running back to you crying saying, "He said he won't buy cookies because you hate him!"

Oh, you best believe I won't be buying from them.

Also, as part of this contract, you'll never be able to see a Broadway Show again. Sorry. The symphony is out the window, too. You cannot go to The Ballet, you cannot see Cats for your anniversary again, and you will never be able to even play the Wicked CD in your car. Never. Because, I hope you know, these joys that you delight in are the fruit of gay Americans, and since you do not want to believe those kind of dirty people exist, we'll work it out for you. I'll round us all up and put us on an Island.

We'll call in Manhattan.

You cannot read David Sedaris, Anne Rice, Gregory McGuire, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Rice, Truman Capote, Oscar Wilde or Walt Whitman. You cannot listen to Tchaikovsky, N'Sync, Clay Aiken, The Village People, Luther Vandross, Melissa Etheridge, or Jean Baptiste Lully. And I'm sure Cher and Madonna will make it so you can't listen to their music, either.

Also, do you remember the fundamental Keynes Economic Theory? A major foundation of the American economy? You'll have to give that back, too, since he was a big old fag.

You cannot watch Will and Grace, The Simpsons, Ugly Betty, South Park, Sex and the City, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Sordid Lives, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Brothers & Sisters, Six Feet Under, Ellen, Dawson's Creek or The View. In fact, you might as well turn off your television and never watch it again, since the gays pretty much run the media too.

And your children can never read Harry Potter, since Dumbledore is gay too.

When you buy your new big house in the suburbs and you're looking for the best interior designers, your quest is going to be awfully long. When you're sick and the Doctor tells you, "so sorry, not you,", it's going to be a painful extra few hours sitting in the waiting room. And if war ever comes to this country, I hope you know, and that your children know, that I will do nothing to help you. I won't sign up to serve and protect you. I won't even shed a tear.

You win. We will leave you alone. Gay America will disappear. This is what you wanted.

Or is it?

Protest The H8.

This Saturday, all over the nation, in every major city in America, there will be a protest held against the passing of Proposition 8. This is your chance to stand publicly amongst your community (even if you're not gay! You support us, you're family!). This is your time to tell Ohio that you are not ok with an entire class of Americans standing as separate and still not equal. This is an incredible time to be gay in America.

I encouraged everyone in the Columbus region to come to City Hall on Saturday at 1:30 to protest. The address is 90 West Broad St., Columbus, OH 43215. The permit has been approved and the rally is set to go.

Similar protests will be going on in Cleveland, Cincinnati, Dayton and Youngstown. If you're not in Ohio, click the very first link in this post and find where your city is protesting.

Remember all those ads saying, "Psst! Do Something."? Here's your chance.

Separate And Equal.

This is a contract between Gay America and Christian America.

Since I am gay and thus a second-class American citizen, I have a proposal. After watching the "love of Christ" in California with the hateful, anti-family, anti-American, bigoted, fear-mongering, deceptive and downright evil Proposition 8, I'll give in--fine. You win. I am just fine being a second-class citizen. I will never ask to be viewed as "equal" in the eyes of the states. I will never fight for my right to marry, or to adopt children, or to serve in the military. I will make my life completely separate from yours.

But I want you to stop living off of the fruits of my labor.

Since you value-voting Christians tell me that I am dirty heathen undeserving of the right to a happy marriage and children of my own, I'm going to stop paying for your schools. I'll do the math and figure out how much Franklin County gives to our schools here, and I'll be deducting that from my taxes. Since roughly 30 million Americans are gay, I doubt the schools will notice the few billion dollars they lose.

Now I work in a restaurant, so if you happen to be in my station, let's work something out from here--don't tip me, because you won't be getting service from me. I will not answer questions about the menu. I will not greet your table. You can get your own drinks. The computer system is pretty easy to navigate, so once you're ready to order just walk up and start punching the items in. (Don't make a mistake, though! You'll have to pay for that if you do.) And there are a few soda machines throughout the restaurant, so you should be fine topping off your own Diet Coke.

When your son knocks on my door and asks me to donate for new uniforms for the basketball team, I hope you'll be prepared to watch the door slam in his face. And when your little Girl Scout tries to sell me cookies, imagine her running back to you crying saying, "He said he won't buy cookies because you hate him!"

Oh, you best believe I won't be buying from them.

Also, as part of this contract, you'll never be able to see a Broadway Show again. Sorry. The symphony is out the window, too. You cannot go to The Ballet, you cannot see Cats for your anniversary again, and you will never be able to even play the Wicked CD in your car. Never. Because, I hope you know, these joys that you delight in are the fruit of gay Americans, and since you do not want to believe those kind of dirty people exist, we'll work it out for you. I'll round us all up and put us on an Island.

We'll call in Manhattan.

You cannot read David Sedaris, Anne Rice, Gregory McGuire, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Christopher Rice, Truman Capote, Oscar Wilde or Walt Whitman. You cannot listen to Tchaikovsky, N'Sync, Clay Aiken, The Village People, Luther Vandross, Melissa Etheridge, or Jean Baptiste Lully. And I'm sure Cher and Madonna will make it so you can't listen to their music, either.

Also, do you remember the fundamental Keynes Economic Theory? A major foundation of the American economy? You'll have to give that back, too, since he was a big old fag.

You cannot watch Will and Grace, The Simpsons, Ugly Betty, South Park, Sex and the City, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Sordid Lives, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Brothers & Sisters, Six Feet Under, Ellen, Dawson's Creek or The View. In fact, you might as well turn off your television and never watch it again, since the gays pretty much run the media too.

And your children can never read Harry Potter, since Dumbledore is gay too.

When you buy your new big house in the suburbs and you're looking for the best interior designers, your quest is going to be awfully long. When you're sick and the Doctor tells you, "so sorry, not you,", it's going to be a painful extra few hours sitting in the waiting room. And if war ever comes to this country, I hope you know, and that your children know, that I will do nothing to help you. I won't sign up to serve and protect you. I won't even shed a tear.

You win. We will leave you alone. Gay America will disappear. This is what you wanted.

Or is it?

Pride and Prejudice.

Years. I've literally been waiting for this day for years. This is the moment I have dreamed of. I've counted down to it. Waited with alacrity for it. I knew that the culmination of the past 19 months would come down to one day, and it's here at last. I've been confident that once this day hits, real change would finally come to America. Real change has finally made me free.

Oh, I'm not talking about Barack Obama winning the election--I'm talking about the day when I finally stop receiving text messages from him! Gosh, on election day alone I received four phone calls and five text messages! You Obamaphiles are crazy! Don't you have jobs? Families? Lives?

As happy as I am that our country has turned in a new and promising direction, I'm so much more elated to know this campaign is over. Now I won't have to read FiveThirtyEight three times a day. I'll no longer have to dig through the babbling at TalkLeft. No more chewing on the pieces at The Daily Kos. I'll be able to forgo the speculation of Prop 8, the Minnesota Senate Race and all of the swing states in the Presidential Election. And, lordy, I thankfully won't have to ever hear about Sarah Palin again! (Or Elizabeth Dole either!)

Luckily I don't live like some other bloggers. I can imagine Pam Spaulding and Joe.My.God with piles of laundry, heaps of trash and a stack of unopened and unpaid bills. I wonder how many unreturned phone calls they'll have to start dialing. "Yes, Mom, it's me. I know it's been 19 months, but I've been busy. Yes, real busy."

I'm sure they'll enjoy this far more than I will.

But, as just an everyday regular citizen and part-time blogger, I'm happy to know it's official. I can kick back my feet and say, "I love the USA!" We won't have weeks of fighting for a recount nor will we have a news media pointing fingers and screaming "Voter Fraud!". Our nation has elected Barack Obama to lead us, and what a fantastic declaration that is, what a monumental proclamation! From everyday henceforth, no person can ever say they have a limit. When a son of a goat herder can become the President of the greatest country in the world, Democracy can pause to take a deep breathe and say, "We are truly free at last".

But are we? For you, probably. For me, not really. On the same great day when Americans sent a message and said 'no' to racial inequality, they also sent another message--Americans are just fine with gays and lesbians not being equal.

The saddest part of Proposition 8 passing is that the voters made the decision to take away an existing right. The wording was specific--it asked voters if they want to take away gays right to marry, and they said yes. Voters also said yes in Florida. They also said yes in Arkansas, and they also said yes in Arizona. Just as they have said it in Ohio, Minnesota, North Carolina, Illinois, Texas, Idaho, Georgia, Kentucky, Virginia, Alabama, Louisiana, Alaska, Tennessee, North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, South Carolina, Washington, Oregon, Iowa, Missouri...and this list isn't complete.

My step-father served in the military, and yet I will never have this opportunity because I am gay. My mother has been happily married for nearly 20 years now and yet I will never have the same chance because I am gay. In times of crisis I can't even sign up to give blood to help my fellow Americans. This is the great country, the one I want to say I love? This is the land of the free, the country of opportunity?

Sure, Barack Obama's election shows how far country has come, but it also says how far it has yet to go. And after being told yet again, "You're not wanted", I'm just not sure if I can continue to say, "But I want you". I hope the best for America and her battle for change. But, after taking the final blow and yet again hearing that I am not wanted in the country, I'm not positive that I want to stay.

To clarify, of course I will still go to University of Minnesota. But once I graduate, if the country's message has not changed...I will say goodbye to The United States of America. Mark my words. I refuse to live in a country that does not believe in its own citizens. I refuse to be in a country where its population will grossly abuse a right and yet proudly remove it from an entire class of people. And I refuse to pledge my allegiance to a flag that won't even acknowledge my existence.

Barack Obama, congratulations. I am so proud of you. I just wish I was proud of my country.

Cats Say "No" To Prop 8!

Teacher's Love The Gays!

Half the country might not think we're humans, but at least teachers love us--and love us a lot they do! They just donated $1 Million to oppose Proposition 8, the measure that would eliminate the current right for homosexuals to marry in California.

For just a day, I would love to have the ability to take a right from the haters. Nothing big. I'm not cruel like that. But, let's say something like right-hand turns. Small and insignificant. Not a human rights issue, such as the right to a family, happiness or liberty, but something ordinary and easily forgotten. I wonder how these millions and millions of people would function without something that is so ingrained into their routine they don't even recognize it's there? Just imagine an entire day where you cannot turn right, at all--not on a bike, not in a car and not even when walking. Everywhere you went, you could only go left. Wouldn't that be problematic? I'd love to see Grand Central in NYC or Michigan Avenue in Chicago. It would be utter chaos.

And that's just one day. Now, imagine what it's like to spend your whole life knowing that you will never be considered 'equal'. Every person you ever meet will judge you. You'll always be looked down upon from your co-workers, family, even your friends. You'll change your voice at work so you don't seem 'different'. People will always make excuses for you because of your sexuality. "He dresses well because he's gay" or "he smells good because he's gay" or "he's flamboyant because he's gay". You'll never be considered just you; instead, you'll always be someone's "gay friend", almost as if you were an accessory. And religious nuts will tell you, almost on a daily basis, that God hates you and will send you to burn forever in hell.

And then imagine having your entire country tell you that you cannot fight for them in the armed forces. Then try to live knowing you can never give blood to help those in need. You cannot adopt the millions of children who do not have a home. You can't even ask the person you love, "will you marry me?"

Voting 'yes' on Proposition 8 only says, "yes, this is ok". It's not a religious issue or a moral issue--it's an issue over decency. Can we not agree that loving couples should be able to own property together, to share health care services and to hold each other's hands as they lay dying? I would never vote to take that right from anyone in this country. Why would you vote for it to be taken away from me?