Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How To Be Cool and Thrifty in Columbus!

So the economy's in the shitter yet you still want to have a good time. You're kind of screwed, huh? Well, luckily the little Jew that lives on my shoulder knows all the good spots throughout town where you can have a good time and still not break your wallet! So, tonight I present How to be Cool and Thrifty in Columbus! (Cool part not guaranteed, but the thriftiness is a sure thing!)

Mondays. So what if the week just started? You're hungry and you want a beer. The best place to hit? Swing by The High Beck in German Village. They offer free pizza on Monday! Heck, you don't even need to order the beer. Just stroll in and eat it up! However, if you're thirsting after a good pitcher of beer, they're pretty darn cheap. A Miller Lite Pitcher runs $6.75, and the rest of their draft--ranging from Blue Moon to Killians--are all available for $9.00. Cheap!

Tuesdays. Can it get much better than $1 Burgers? Not that I'm aware of! Over in the Park Street/Arena District, Bar Louie offers $1 Burgers starting at 10 and going until close. The crowd is casual yet the ambiance is relaxing. I'm not aware of any drink specials, but I'll forewarn you that they have a ridiculous amount of Beer. I'm sure you'll be quite satisfied!

Wednesdays. Call me prissy, but I hate eating wings. It's so much work! I'm far too lazy to have to eat around a bone. (Oh, wow, I can think of so many innuendos...anyway!). However, if your thing is wings, on Wednesday's Brothers has 10 Cent Wing night! Only requirement is that you have a student ID. Snag your friends, and order up a ton of wings! You'll be full for less than $2.00. And since domestics are only $1.00, you could walk out full, fat and drunk for less than $10.00! Nothing could be more American. Show your country pride and go to Brothers!

Thursdays. If you're a lady who loves to be surrounded by men who will shower you with praises, then Thursday is your best night to go out. Union Station in The Short North has $3 Long Islands all night and thus the place is packed. Gays for days! However, if you want to start the evening off with a little class, dress yourself up and head to Martini Modern Italian. From 4 -6 they offer incredible cocktails at only $3 a pop, plus they have half-price appetizers. The interior is gorgeous, so dress to impress. And ladies, if your self-esteem still hasn't peaked, finish the night off at Skully's for Ladies 80's! I personally don't care for the place, but then again I can't dance and I'm probably doing everyone a favor from abstaining. But still! Ladies get in free, and I'm sure with the crowd you'll continue to be fawned upon by men who will never want you. Success!

Fridays. Hyde Park and Eleven . Two of the most beautiful restaurants in town, both which offer a great happy hour. On Friday the gays invade Hyde Park and it's full 'til close. They offer $4 martinis and half-price appetizers, which is exactly what Eleven offers as well. And luckily the two restaurants are right next to each other, so in this cold weather you won't have much of a walk! These two happy hours runs from 4:30 - 6:30, but luckily Bristol Bar's goes from 6 - 8! Stop on in for $2 cocktails, drinks and shots.

This is barely scratching the surface of what Columbus offers as far as dining and drinking. However, if you're trying to keep within a budget, on this schedule you're bound to be happy. But if this list isn't enough to fulfill your boozing habits, here is a program that essentially lists every happy hour in town. While it doesn't tell which place has the best deals, you would have to be drunk for months in order to hit up every single one of these places.

Oh, and before I go, if you're going to drink--DO NOT DRIVE! Seriously. It's just not worth it.