Overheard in a Restaurant.

Not my restaurant, but still the greatest thing ever.

Two women sitting in a restaurant, bibles on their table.

Lady 1: Well it just seems so wrong.
Lady 2: Well if you're happy though that's what matters
Lady 1: I think I should tell my husband I'm having an affair though...
Lady 2: I'm sure it will all work itself out. It's Gods Will.
Lady 1: You're right I should just follow His plan.
Lady 2: :reassuring smile:

Oh, the love of Christ.

How To Be Cool and Thrifty in Columbus!

So the economy's in the shitter yet you still want to have a good time. You're kind of screwed, huh? Well, luckily the little Jew that lives on my shoulder knows all the good spots throughout town where you can have a good time and still not break your wallet! So, tonight I present How to be Cool and Thrifty in Columbus! (Cool part not guaranteed, but the thriftiness is a sure thing!)

Mondays. So what if the week just started? You're hungry and you want a beer. The best place to hit? Swing by The High Beck in German Village. They offer free pizza on Monday! Heck, you don't even need to order the beer. Just stroll in and eat it up! However, if you're thirsting after a good pitcher of beer, they're pretty darn cheap. A Miller Lite Pitcher runs $6.75, and the rest of their draft--ranging from Blue Moon to Killians--are all available for $9.00. Cheap!

Tuesdays. Can it get much better than $1 Burgers? Not that I'm aware of! Over in the Park Street/Arena District, Bar Louie offers $1 Burgers starting at 10 and going until close. The crowd is casual yet the ambiance is relaxing. I'm not aware of any drink specials, but I'll forewarn you that they have a ridiculous amount of Beer. I'm sure you'll be quite satisfied!

Wednesdays. Call me prissy, but I hate eating wings. It's so much work! I'm far too lazy to have to eat around a bone. (Oh, wow, I can think of so many innuendos...anyway!). However, if your thing is wings, on Wednesday's Brothers has 10 Cent Wing night! Only requirement is that you have a student ID. Snag your friends, and order up a ton of wings! You'll be full for less than $2.00. And since domestics are only $1.00, you could walk out full, fat and drunk for less than $10.00! Nothing could be more American. Show your country pride and go to Brothers!

Thursdays. If you're a lady who loves to be surrounded by men who will shower you with praises, then Thursday is your best night to go out. Union Station in The Short North has $3 Long Islands all night and thus the place is packed. Gays for days! However, if you want to start the evening off with a little class, dress yourself up and head to Martini Modern Italian. From 4 -6 they offer incredible cocktails at only $3 a pop, plus they have half-price appetizers. The interior is gorgeous, so dress to impress. And ladies, if your self-esteem still hasn't peaked, finish the night off at Skully's for Ladies 80's! I personally don't care for the place, but then again I can't dance and I'm probably doing everyone a favor from abstaining. But still! Ladies get in free, and I'm sure with the crowd you'll continue to be fawned upon by men who will never want you. Success!

Fridays. Hyde Park and Eleven . Two of the most beautiful restaurants in town, both which offer a great happy hour. On Friday the gays invade Hyde Park and it's full 'til close. They offer $4 martinis and half-price appetizers, which is exactly what Eleven offers as well. And luckily the two restaurants are right next to each other, so in this cold weather you won't have much of a walk! These two happy hours runs from 4:30 - 6:30, but luckily Bristol Bar's goes from 6 - 8! Stop on in for $2 cocktails, drinks and shots.

This is barely scratching the surface of what Columbus offers as far as dining and drinking. However, if you're trying to keep within a budget, on this schedule you're bound to be happy. But if this list isn't enough to fulfill your boozing habits, here is a program that essentially lists every happy hour in town. While it doesn't tell which place has the best deals, you would have to be drunk for months in order to hit up every single one of these places.

Oh, and before I go, if you're going to drink--DO NOT DRIVE! Seriously. It's just not worth it.

Why Tip?

I've been slinging dishes at restaurants for years now. The job has paid my bills, put me through college and has taught me the basic fundamental of human interaction: make people feel special. If you can utilize those four words and implement them into every contact with another person, the sky is the limit, your success will be unstoppable. We are creatures yearning to feel important, and nothing satiates that yearning like an evening out at a fine restaurant.

As much as I enjoy my job, I don't do it for the hourly wage. Until last year, it was $2.13 here in Ohio. But, with our big pay raise, we're now making $3.41 an hour, which is completely eaten up in taxes and healthcare. I basically haven't actually received a paycheck in four years and thus my bills and college tuition are paid entirely from the expected 20% gratuity. (And I say expected because I bend over backwards for my tables.) Also, 25% of my earned tips are taken every night and given to the bartender, food runner and bussers, so if I expect a 20% tip, I actually only get a 15% tip. Kind of sucks, doesn't it?

All this to say, a restaurant in San Diego has entirely done away with the tipping process, instead opting for an automatic 18% service charge on every table. At first I was a little horrified, but after reading the article, I was slightly envious. The best reason is this: Sunday evening I came in and waited on a party of 9 for over two hours. Their bill came to $350, and after a flawless experience without one thing going wrong, they left me a $10 tip (that equates to 3%). The manager stopped by and the people confirmed that the meal was "perfect" and everything was "outstanding", so what could he do? Force them to shell over 60 more bucks?

I'm a little jealous of that restaurant in San Diego. But, until then, readers, remember that when you go out your server is getting paid almost nothing-per-hour (unless you're in California). And, many restaurants require tipouts of 30%, 40% and even 50% of their tips! You'd be surprised just how often I am told "your service was perfect" and then I'm handed a 10% or 15% tip. Jipping a server on a tip and saying, "You did a great job" is essentially the same as me calling the cable company and saying, "I just love my cable", and then acting surprised when they still expect me to pay up.

(Thanks Anna for the link!)

Bad News For RJ's!

I'm sorry to say, but RJ Snapper's has closed!

Attention Restaurant Workers!

I love my job and have no intention of leaving, but for those of you who work in a restaurant and daily dream of it going down in flames...perhaps you should check out Martini Park! I reported on this upcoming restaurant a few months ago, and now it's coming close to opening time and they're hiring! Here is the info:

Hiring will take place September 15th - 20th, 11 AM to 5 PM @ Martini Park's temporary office, 3948 Easton Way. Send inquiries to: jobs@martinipark.com

• Greeters
• Cooks
• Cocktail Servers
• Bussers
• Dishwashers
• Bartenders/Barbacks

ZPizza Coming to The Sho No!

(Via The Dispatch by Bill Chronister)

Steve Curtis is about a month from opening Ohio's first zpizza, a gourmet pizza concept that began in Laguna Beach, Calif., in 1986. The restaurant will take the 2,286 square feet at 945 N. High St. once filled by the Emack & Bolio ice cream shop.

Zpizza, which lists about 80 shops across the country and expects 100 by the end of the year, uses high-quality ingredients to create pizzas available whole or by the slice, as well as salads, sandwiches and some desserts.

Examples of pizzas include vegetarian options such as a Greek style and Tuscan mushroom, and a Provencal with homemade garlic sausage. There's a whole-wheat crust option, and soy cheese is available. There's also a meatball sub.

Prices start at $2.50 for a slice and $5.95 for the daily special of two slices and a soft drink. Salads are priced from $5.50 to $6.95 for a small, and whole pizzas are expected to start at $8 for a small cheese and range up to $19.95 for an 18-inch "zcreation."

Review: Caffe Daniela!

So I have this rule--nothing north of Henderson and nothing south of Greenlawn. I bike everywhere in this city, so this 10 mile stretch is still encompassing enough to explore the city, yet it keeps me from having to bike over 20 miles a day. The rule is definitely flexible, though, and today I decided to venture beyond the limits and check out Worthington's newest restaurant, Caffe Daniela. Their doors opened barely three weeks ago, and I have to say that already they are acting like a first-class, well-vetted restaurant!

The interior is beautiful yet lacking that haughty ostentation that is suddenly becoming popular among quaint cafes. (This is a good thing). The Italian influenced menu features an assortment of traditional entrees, from pizzas to lasanga, salads to paninis (even in 'mini' size!) and of course a great selection of gelato and sorbet. I selected the Enzo Panini ($6.50) and absolutely loved it. (I mean, who would complain with a marriage of prosciutto, sopressata and a light white cheese served with a dash of an italian blend dressing? Just writing about it I'm getting hungry again!) The ciabatta bread itself was so soft it had to have been baked within a few hours of me devouring it. It was delicious!

The rest of menu was certainly tempting, though I could only eat so much! However, I'll just note that the prices were extremely reasonable, especially considering the fresh ingredients, satisfying portions and the comfortable ambiance. On top of that, the staff was beyond friendly; I was asked no less than three times if I was enjoying my meal! Simply across the board, I was very impressed and will have to extend my biking limits to 161 in order to fit in more Caffe Daniela!

Caffe Daniela is located at 650 N. High Street in Worthington, Ohio. You can contact them at (614) 436-0139. (Will Shilling Photo courtesy of Columbus Alive!)

Early Preview: Eleven!

So the recent buzz has been stirring about the new restaurant opening at The Cap, Eleven, and some gossip has been dished out with all the delicious info you need to know.

So here's the skinny--the drinks are banging. Although the drinks are priced similarly to the name of the bar (how kind of them to provide a warning!), Eleven is calling their brand of cocktails "molecular mixology" (which seems redundant and unnecessary, but whatever). As tacky as the brand name is, from what my friend says, I'll soon be getting over it once I see just how good the drinks are.

The cocktail menu includes some familiar favorites, but also some unique drinks such as the Dulce de Leche Martini, which is as thick as cheesecake and as filling as a ribeye, The Green Fairy, featuring recently-legal Absinthe, and The Deconstructed Martini, which is Hangar One Vodka with green olive caviar. Lastly the drink garnishes sound innovative and creative, and I'm dying to see what the hell "citrus foam" is like. It sounds ostentatious, vicious and delicious...everything I like in a drink!

The biggest thing that was confirmed was they will have a $4 happy hour which will feature many of the drinks from the menu, most Martinis using high-end vodkas like Belvedere and Greygoose. (Hopefully they won't pull a Smith and Wollensky on us!) This happy hour list has plenty of molecularly mixed cocktails, including the French 75, a rather subtle twist on the standard French cocktail. It's shaken with Tanqueray and lemon juice, finished with a Champaign float on top. Sounds good enough for me! (Especially @ $4!)

The wine list is simply awe-inspiring, so I'm told. They'll feature over 100 glass pours from all over the world--and all over the price range, too.

As far as the food goes, we'll just have to wait and see!

The restaurant itself is gorgeous and will be the place to be in The Short North. It boasts both a large bar terrace as well as multiple fireplaces to cozy up with. From the limited information I have, though, it won't take much to assume that Hyde Park will yet again wow us with a beautiful restaurant interior.

Eleven opens August 7th, and I'm sure all of us will be able to grab ourselves a first-hand review of the place. Hopefully this preview will at least caress your senses, appease your appetite and get you excited for the new comer to The Short North!

*EDIT*
It's citrus foam, not caviar form, so scratch the pretension (but keep the ostentation!). It's also lemon juice, not lime juice, in the French 75.

Finally: Black Olive Review!

The Other Paper finally dished out a review of Black Olive! However, it's not necessarily very praising...

Visually, the new place makes the grade. The owner operates successful local joints like Typhoon and Shoku; given that pedigree, it’s no surprise to find Black Olive stylishly decorated in dark neutrals with a few striking orange accents. And along with the stylish interior comes the obligatory chicly black-clad army of haughty-hottie servers.

As for the food served by those servers, it’s less consistently impressive. Some of the offerings are ready for prime time, and some still need a little R&D.

Well, still, the place is cheap enough (<$10 sandwiches) that I won't be maxing out my credit cards just to check it out. And it's open for lunch, something that is somewhat lacking in The Short North! (Hyde Park, Rosendale's, and RJ Snappers are all closed during the day).

Cheap Cheesecake!

I just caught word of The Cheesecake Factory's 30th Anniversary Celebration plans--$1.50 cheesecake on July 30th!

To kick-off the anniversary celebration and in commemoration of National Cheesecake Day on July 30th, 2008, The Cheesecake Factory restaurants will offer every delicious slice of its more than 30 varieties of cheesecake with a dollop of nostalgia by featuring all cheesecakes at $1.50 per slice, limit one per guest, dine in only, on that day—as they were when the restaurant first opened in 1978.

In addition, a special, limited edition cheesecake, the 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cake Cheesecake, will be introduced on July 30th with $0.25 from the sale of each slice sold this year benefiting the national hunger-relief organization, America’s Second Harvest – The Nation’s Food Bank Network. Additional activities will be announced throughout the year.

The Cheesecake pictured is the Snicker's Cheesecake, but as a former two-year employee of CCF I'd also recommend Adam's Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple, the Tuxedo Cream Cheesecake and their delicious Carrot Cake--oh, and their Strawberry Shortcake! Lastly, remember The Cheesecake Factory recently opened a new location at Polaris, in addition to their Easton location.

What's Coming to our City.

There is so much going on this city. Every morning when I read the paper I'm jotting down a new restaurant to check out, or a new coffee shop to invade, or a new boutique to peruse through...Columbus, I'm running out of time (and money!).

Here is a short-list of some new things that are scheduled to arrive in our fine city:

-Martini Park: Set up to be like a playground for adults, this Martini bar and Small Plate Restaurant looks like it will be an incredible addition to the already booming Easton Town Center. The only problem? Well, who is going to want to party it up in a suburban nightclub? With no public transportation running from Easton to the city (at night, that is), this pretty much eliminates Martini Park from my options. Unless I want to drop $30 on a cab. (Which won't happen)

-Big Bang Dueling Piano Bar: Opening in the Arena District adjacent from Gordon Biersch, this bar has already found success in Nashville, St. Louis and Tempe. The dueling piano bar theme is nothing new, though to my knowledge there is nothing like it here in Columbus. When I was in Orlando I had the pleasure of enjoying a "dueling piano bar" experience, and it was certainly entertaining and unforgettable. They let me duke it out on the ivory keys with one of the professional pianists; we did the song Plush by Stone Temple Pilots. I'm excited to see what kind of talent this joint is going to round up! :-)

-The Book Suite: According to Columbus Underground, this snazzy loft is coming in the first week of September and will be located right beside the new Urban-Spirit Coffee Shop. Also recently reported was the opening of another coffee shop located in the same King-Lincoln District, Zanzibar Brews.

-Rosendale's Expansion: According to Columbus-ING, Richard Rosendale has purchased the now defunct Fibres and is planning an expansion, though it will probably be a restaurant with a more casual theme than his current restaurant.

-Cook Shack Bar-B-Q: This is an unconfirmed rumor, but I've heard that a part of the Atlas Building downtown has been leased out to the owner of Cook Shack Bar-B-Q, a restaurant in Hilliard.

- Black Olive: I asked readers about this a few days ago and seems like no one has written a review yet...but, it's been open a short while and from what I hear it's just mediocre. Opening at the former iconic Coffee Table in The Short North, the new restaurant features a vastly improved look from its predecessor (though that wasn't hard considering the old CT), a menu that is reasonable and eclectic, and a location that couldn't be more prime. However, it seems like the food needs a bit more reconditioning.

- Sage American Bistro: Sage opened a little over a month ago, but I've heard nothing but glowing reviews and I have yet to venture up to it. Located in the North Campus area, the only things I know about the restaurant is that it's beautiful and the food is delicious. Can you really ask for more?

- Eleven: I can't seem to find any news on this place, but a friend of mine has been hired there and all he has told me is that will be the next fun place to go for Cocktails. Although a different concept from Marcella's, he described it to me as "small plates, tapas, martinis and fun"...(yeah, sounds original, huh?). Regardless, if it's anything like Hyde Park, it will be great.

- Deepwood: You'd be surprised what came up when I googled this one! The former Abracci by the Greek Orthodox church foiled, but luckily this steakhouse showed up to take it's place! (Though, honestly, it couldn't have possibly chosen a worse name). From what I hear, the new restaurant is great and although somewhat pricey, the experience completely lives up to the tab. However, I still don't want to order a piece of meat from a place called Deepwood. (Note: They are open for lunch! I can hear it now, "Let's get Deepwood for lunch"...terrible, absolutely terrible.)

If anyone has been to any of the already opened restaurants (Deepwood, Sage, Black Olive, etc.), feel free to comment and let us know how they are!

The Dark Side.

My friend caught a glimpse of the McCain Mobile invading Columbus today. His words? "No one told me the Death Star was coming to town!"

In an elitist and thoughtless attempt to one-up Barack Obama's historic speech in Berlin, John McCain thought all he had to do was eat at a German Restaurant.

While Barack Obama was greeted by 200,000 Germans chanting “Yes we can” in Berlin, John McCain was greeting a few dozen people at a German restaurant here in Ohio.

“I’d love to give a speech in Germany – a political speech – or a speech that maybe the German people would be interested in,” McCain said at Schmidt’s Restaurant und Sausage Haus.

“But I would much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for the office of the presidency."

Northstar Cafe's Hours are Changing!

Coming via Columbus Underground, it looks like Northstar Cafe will no longer open bright and early (I think it used to be 7 am). Instead, it'll start opening at 9 am. I guess this isn't too bad since Tasi and Cafe Lola are great breakfast spots which open early, but it's still a little disappointing.

Sign of the Times.

Today at the restaurant, I passed by a table that seemed to be on a blind internet date. I didn't get more than a glimpse of the couple, but I did hear the lady comment, "My, George, you look so much younger in person!"

I'm not too sure, but was that supposed to be a compliment?

Black Olive.

So, has anyone been to the new restaurant in The Short North, Black Olive? If so, comment and tell us how it was!