Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Pride and Prejudice.

Years. I've literally been waiting for this day for years. This is the moment I have dreamed of. I've counted down to it. Waited with alacrity for it. I knew that the culmination of the past 19 months would come down to one day, and it's here at last. I've been confident that once this day hits, real change would finally come to America. Real change has finally made me free.

Oh, I'm not talking about Barack Obama winning the election--I'm talking about the day when I finally stop receiving text messages from him! Gosh, on election day alone I received four phone calls and five text messages! You Obamaphiles are crazy! Don't you have jobs? Families? Lives?

As happy as I am that our country has turned in a new and promising direction, I'm so much more elated to know this campaign is over. Now I won't have to read FiveThirtyEight three times a day. I'll no longer have to dig through the babbling at TalkLeft. No more chewing on the pieces at The Daily Kos. I'll be able to forgo the speculation of Prop 8, the Minnesota Senate Race and all of the swing states in the Presidential Election. And, lordy, I thankfully won't have to ever hear about Sarah Palin again! (Or Elizabeth Dole either!)

Luckily I don't live like some other bloggers. I can imagine Pam Spaulding and Joe.My.God with piles of laundry, heaps of trash and a stack of unopened and unpaid bills. I wonder how many unreturned phone calls they'll have to start dialing. "Yes, Mom, it's me. I know it's been 19 months, but I've been busy. Yes, real busy."

I'm sure they'll enjoy this far more than I will.

But, as just an everyday regular citizen and part-time blogger, I'm happy to know it's official. I can kick back my feet and say, "I love the USA!" We won't have weeks of fighting for a recount nor will we have a news media pointing fingers and screaming "Voter Fraud!". Our nation has elected Barack Obama to lead us, and what a fantastic declaration that is, what a monumental proclamation! From everyday henceforth, no person can ever say they have a limit. When a son of a goat herder can become the President of the greatest country in the world, Democracy can pause to take a deep breathe and say, "We are truly free at last".

But are we? For you, probably. For me, not really. On the same great day when Americans sent a message and said 'no' to racial inequality, they also sent another message--Americans are just fine with gays and lesbians not being equal.

The saddest part of Proposition 8 passing is that the voters made the decision to take away an existing right. The wording was specific--it asked voters if they want to take away gays right to marry, and they said yes. Voters also said yes in Florida. They also said yes in Arkansas, and they also said yes in Arizona. Just as they have said it in Ohio, Minnesota, North Carolina, Illinois, Texas, Idaho, Georgia, Kentucky, Virginia, Alabama, Louisiana, Alaska, Tennessee, North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, South Carolina, Washington, Oregon, Iowa, Missouri...and this list isn't complete.

My step-father served in the military, and yet I will never have this opportunity because I am gay. My mother has been happily married for nearly 20 years now and yet I will never have the same chance because I am gay. In times of crisis I can't even sign up to give blood to help my fellow Americans. This is the great country, the one I want to say I love? This is the land of the free, the country of opportunity?

Sure, Barack Obama's election shows how far country has come, but it also says how far it has yet to go. And after being told yet again, "You're not wanted", I'm just not sure if I can continue to say, "But I want you". I hope the best for America and her battle for change. But, after taking the final blow and yet again hearing that I am not wanted in the country, I'm not positive that I want to stay.

To clarify, of course I will still go to University of Minnesota. But once I graduate, if the country's message has not changed...I will say goodbye to The United States of America. Mark my words. I refuse to live in a country that does not believe in its own citizens. I refuse to be in a country where its population will grossly abuse a right and yet proudly remove it from an entire class of people. And I refuse to pledge my allegiance to a flag that won't even acknowledge my existence.

Barack Obama, congratulations. I am so proud of you. I just wish I was proud of my country.