Kentucky Protected By God.

Sometimes it is just agony to read the news. It is so bad that my wall has filed a complaint about the constant banging it receives every time I open a newspaper. It's embarrassing enough to be an American, but I'm utterly ashamed that I live within driving distance of this pitiful place called "Kentucky". I say this because, since 2006, the state of Kentucky has listed "Almighty God" as their ultimate defense against terrorism.

No, really. I'm not joking. Screw the Department of Homeland Security, we got an invisible man to protect us!

Under state law, God is Kentucky's first line of defense against terrorism.

The 2006 law organizing the state Office of Homeland Security lists its initial duty as "stressing the dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

Specifically, Homeland Security is ordered to publicize God's benevolent protection in its reports, and it must post a plaque at the entrance to the state Emergency Operations Center with an 88-word statement that begins, "The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God."

State Rep. Tom Riner, a Southern Baptist minister, tucked the God provision into Homeland Security legislation as a floor amendment that lawmakers overwhelmingly approved two years ago.

As amended, Homeland Security's religious duties now come before all else, including its distribution of millions of dollars in federal grants and its analysis of possible threats.

The time and energy spent crediting God are appropriate, said Riner, D-Louisville, in an interview this week.

"This is recognition that government alone cannot guarantee the perfect safety of the people of Kentucky," Riner said. "Government itself, apart from God, cannot close the security gap. The job is too big for government."

Nonetheless, it is government that operates the Office of Homeland Security in Frankfort, with a budget this year of about $28 million, mostly federal funds. And some administrations are more religious than others.

I'm pretty sure my wall just put in its two week notice. "This is NOT what I signed up for!"