Barack Obama's Grandmother Dies.

This is terrible news.

"Some of you heard that my grandmother who helped raise me passed away early this morning," [Barack Obama] said. "I'm not going to talk about it too long because it's hard for me to talk about."

He went on to tell the crowd that Ms. Dunham was born in 1922 in a small Kansas town. He said she lived through the Great Depression and two World Wars.

"She was one of those quiet heroes that we have all across America, they're not famous, their names aren't in the newspaper but each and every day they work hard, they look after their families, they sacrifice for their children and their grandchildren," he said.

In the statement, Sen. Obama called his grandmother "the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances" and said his "debt to her is beyond measure." Last month, as his grandmother's health deteriorated, the Illinois Democrat took time off the campaign trail to visit her in Hawaii.

Sen. Obama, the son of a Kenyan father and a Kansas-born mother, was largely reared by his maternal grandparents. He called his grandmother "Toot," short for "tutu," the Hawaiian word for grandmother. Sen. Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, died of ovarian cancer in 1995 at the age of 57, and his grandfather, Stanley Dunham, died in 1992.

Don't worry, the wingnuts have already claimed that Barack planned this one. And they're the party of "value" voters. What a bunch of fuckers.

Oldie and Beefie.

Did you guys hear that John McCain and Arnold Schwarzenegger are having a rally in Columbus today?

Something about the couple seems...odd.

I Prefer To Be Called A "Non-Eater".

I never really was an eater. I mean, honestly, is it even natural? Look all around you, and it's clear--nowhere in nature does anything eat! Dogs, Horses, Cats, Zebras, Elephants, Dolphins, Turtles...nope. None of them eat!

On top of that, eating is expensive. Have you been to a restaurant recently? (I know I haven't!) Prices are soaring through the roof, and portion sizes aren't looking like it's worth what you're paying (not that I would know, of course).

Eating is also so time-consuming! As a student, I simply do not have three times a day to stop what I'm doing and begin gourging on something that is unnecessary in the first place.

So what did I do? Well, I did what every sane person would do--I stopped eating! That's right, I just shut my mouth and found other things to do. It only took maybe three weeks of involuntarily shaking and chunks of hair falling out before I began to realize that, maybe, eating is necessary.

So when I saw that some loons out in California are going to starve themselves for 40 days in order to "save marriage"...I said, "Well, more power to them! If they can do it, then maybe there is some truth to this non-eating lifestyle. Perhaps I can finally be at my goal weight--67 pounds!" (I know, even that's a bit on the hefty side).

So, Pastors and crazy loons in California, let me know how it goes. I'm currently 150 pounds, but I've always dreamed of being so emaciated I needed help up the stairs. Can you please let me know if after 40 days of fasting you're thin as a rail? Will you look like a crack addict on Sunday? Will you be so thin people will say, "I just loved your work in Schindler's List!"? If any of the above happens, get back to me! I want to be thin enough that Jesus looks beyond the gay thing and finally loves me!

Oh, and if you pass out and die, thus not allowing you to vote for Proposition 8? Well, it's God's Will.

Don't Blame Wall Street...It's the Gays Fault!

Every time there is any type of misery in the world, who do the Christians blame? The gays. Because that is rational.

• Hurricane Katrina? "Nah, it ain't no natural disaster! God was just trying to kill all dem' homosexuals! All they is is a bunch o' sinners!"
• September 11th? "Oh, no, it wasn't some crazy terrorists who are fed up with the US...it was those hell-bound cock suckers! They did this to America!"
• AIDS? "All those poor innocent Africans dying of AIDS is the punishment of God on the fags! GOD HATES FAGS!"
• National Security? "If gay marriage passes in this nation, you can kiss this nation goodbye!"
  

Oh. My. Rod. How do these people even function?

Anyway, it hasn't taken long for some whacknut crazy Christian to say that the financial crisis is, too, a fault of the gays. Because that is rational.

We are all rightly concerned about the nation's financial situation today. Our crisis is a symptom, not the cause.

Ruth Graham told her husband Billy years ago that God would have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah if He doesn't judge America. They were reflecting on a list of sinful conditions existing in our nation in the 1960s. Things have only deteriorated since then.

I am not saying I know whether this financial crisis is God's judgment or not. It is not for me to know that definitively. Graham's observations are instructive, however.

If Maine's politicians really want to get serious about making Maine strong in light of this national crisis they will do the following immediately:

1. Put Maine on record as being against abortion the nanosecond the Supreme Court releases the Roe shackle.
2. Defund the Family Planning Association of Maine.
   
3. Amend Maine's Constitution to define Marriage.
4. Eliminate domestic partnerships and ignore pleas to create civil unions.
5. Unleash Maine's private sector to make Maine energy independent.
6. End discrimination against private religious schools and homeschools.

If we did that in 2009 I think God would crack a smile.

I wish I had my old "WWJD" bracelets, because I'd love to send them to this whackjob, Mike Heath. Really, is this what Jesus would do? Really? Spend all your time pointing finger at people who are unlike you? This is what Jesus is like? Wow, really sounds like the kind of guy I'd like to spend an eternity with.

This is what gets to me about religion. Under the regime of God, no one is responsible for their actions. Take this example right here--according to this loon, the failure of our economy has nothing to do with the brokers on Wall Street, the horrific lending practices that mortgage companies have adopted, the asinine deregulation of our banks, the self-destructive high taxing of the middle class and the wildly ludicrous policy of trickle-down-economics. Instead, it is all up to God. God is punishing the world for the gays actions. But, the punishment is brought fourth through the actions of people. If this punishment is directly from God, that means that God is the one who crafted this financial crisis. And for that to happen, God would have to be in control of everything that happens. You simply cannot destroy an economy overnight, so every bad decision made by every single person in America is God's will--in order to punish 5% of the population. God, you're a douche!

If that is the case, then my Atheism is solely God's decision. The words I am writing right now are under his control. Why? Because in order for God to have power of the big stuff, he needs to have the power of the small stuff. Fannie Mae going under? It's God's will. The hurricanes that keep killing people? It's God's will. The kidnapped tourists? It's God's will. The Iraq War? It's God's will.

People, can we all agree that is stupid? You and I are in charge of our actions. We are human beings with the mental capacity to make rational decisions for our life. In order for God to have any sort of power whatsoever, we could not have free will. And thus, this financial crisis is not a punishment on a small sect of Americans--it is the result of bad decisions by bad Americans. It's time we stopped looking for someone to blame and start looking for how we are going to fix this.

"Value" Voters Sure Love Their Racism!

"If these represent the values of the “Values Voters”, I know all I need to know about their values." -Rick Wingrove, speaking about the recent Obama Waffles flop.



If you hadn't heard, some whackjob Christians at the Values Voters summit in Washington D.C. put together a marketing campaign, Obama Waffles, which picture Obama as a Muslim with a sign saying, "Point box toward Mecca for Tastier Waffles". It also states, "Best if used before November 4th, 2008". It has a sultry picture of Michelle Obama saying "They're selling like hot cakes!"




The mere assertion of "Values Voters" is beyond me. The implication is that they are above the rest of us; their vote is based on some moral code, while the rest of us are a bunch of heathen non-value voters. We who care that every American has health insurance, are the ones void of values. We who would rather work to improve a criminal instead of just killing them off, are the ones bereft of virtue. And we who want equality for all people, are the godless sinners who care nothing for right or wrong.

And they say they come with humility. What mindless arrogance to boast of yourself as the only voters with values and then simultaneously proclaim that our murdering of innocent Iraqis is just, that our 46 million uninsured Americans is simply a "dip" in the free market, that the poor are just a bunch of lazy fucks and that homosexuals choose their lifestyle and thus don't deserve any type of rights or even representation under the law.

It's a pity there really isn't a hell.

Police Raids in Twin Cities.

As the self-proclaimed salesman for Minneapolis, I usually only post the good stuff, but this is such bad news that I have to share it.

There is an entire site, TheUpTake, reporting how the police in The Twin Cities are raiding homes and arresting citizens who are protesting the Republican National Convention.

Check it out. It's kind of scary what big brother is capable of. And to think this comes from the party that claims to want small Government...

Where is Michelle "Fist Bumper" Obama? Missing 32 days!!!

I LOVE THIS MAN!!! (The title of this post is the actual title of the YouTube video...)

Lieberman to Speak at GOP convention.

Let me say that again--Former Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate is speaking at The Republican National Convention.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, completing a dramatic political transformation over the last eight years, is now scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention next month, according to GOP sources.

The Connecticut senator, who calls himself an "independent Democrat" and attends some Democratic meetings on Capitol Hill, has become one of the McCain's closet allies, campaigning with him everywhere and rumored to be on his list of potential running mates.

So he lost as a Democrat, won as an Independent, and sold out as a Republican. It's Washington, it's politics, it figures.