Sunday, September 7, 2008

Only a Few Miles From My House...

And you have to ask why I want to leave Ohio?

The sign was meant to be "loving" according to the Pastor of Havens Corner Church, a church in Blacklick, Ohio. However, I'm just curious why they haven't had Church signs that share ALL of the warnings from the Bible? I've made a list of suggestions for next weeks marquee:

  • "All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp at Red Lobster. Cost? HELL!" (Lev. 11:9-12)
  • "Hanes' Soft Blended Shirts Won't Protect Your From The Flames of HELL!" (Lev 19:19)
  • "'Every Kiss Begins with Kay', but Every Girl in Hell Has Gold Melted into Her!" (Timothy 2:9-10)
  • "Bootylicious? It's ok, Destiny's Child is a Christian Band."
  • "Salvation Drive Next Saturday! Can't Make It? Then Attend Our Local Stoning Next Sunday!" (Deut. 12:2-7)
  • "If You Really Loved God You Wouldn't Let Your Cattle Graze Together." (Lev. 19:19)
Any other suggestions for New Havens Corner next Church Marquee?