The Battle.

Have you noticed the bizarre climate the Republicans have tried to create? It's the battle between the two types of Americans: the snooty, haughty, full-of-themselves, cosmopolitan heathens living in the vile city...versus the value-driven, family-lovin', country-living small town folk who do nothing but praise the Lord and sing patriotic tunes. From what gutter do they come up with this putrid drivel? I almost shit a brick when Rudy Guliani, the former mayor of New York City, stood at the Republican National Convention and called Barack Obama too "cosmopolitan".

Too Cosmopolitan? Coming from the former leader of the city that defines "cosmopolitan"?!

And then months ago to watch John McCain, a man who owns 7 houses and 13 cars, call Barack Obama, a man who grew up in a single-parent home, "elitist"? How can he even utter these words?

I'm so tired of the implications of the Republican party. By claiming that they are "value-voters", they are incinuating that anyone else who votes differently are non-value voters. By claiming "small-town principles", they are saying that anyone who lives in the city somehow lives void of principles. Talk about elitist! I consider anyone who proclaims themself to be full of virtue, value and principle to be the first one questioned as to the merits of these claims. Haven't you seen it before? If you make a declaration, then show the proof. And when it comes to small-towns, I'll tell you exaclty what they're like: small towns are like a beautiful rock you see from afar. When you first get a glimpse, you're immediately impressed and you want to see more. As you move closer and closer, the vision takes a grander focus and it just looks too charming to be true. But once you touch the rock and pick it up, the feeling isn't the same. An incredulous sense will come over you, and you'll turn the rock over, only to suddenly be horrified to see the grime, mud, mildew and bugs crawling all over the bottom. It's like the bed of a prostitute, so rancid you wouldn't sleep there if your life depended on it.

Don't tell me small-town values are admirable. Small towns are the largest source of crystal meth in the country. Small towns are where the greatest forms of ignorance can be found: from racism to sexism to homophobia, all it is is a stewing pot of intolerance, hatred and the perpetuation of bigotry. Small towns are where women are too afraid to speak up, gays are too terrified to come out and where minorities are wise enough to avoid at all costs.

That's not to say all small towns are somehow evil. In fact, there are plenty of small towns that are nothing of the picture I painted. But it's the dichotomy I'm trying to attack: value-voters in the small town versus filfthy sinners in the city. Instead of posing us against each other, we should all be working with each other.

So, John McCain, don't tell me that I should have small town values. Don't tell me that the only values in this country are found in the little towns in fields. For if that's true, our values are only found in proclaiming God on Sunday, and smoking crack on Saturday.